Sunday was me and Captain Awesome’s anniversary. I know we’re meant for each other because we both forgot about it. And in general, we feel like corporations can shove their cutesy cards and candlelit dinners up their butts while we keep our money for ourselves.
This was our second anniversary ever. Two years seems like two hundred years to me – not because the relationship has been that crappy, but because my previous dating record was eight weeks. And really, it was more like six because the chick stopped calling me then. It was only my second relationship, so it took me two weeks to realize that 1. She was giving me a hint, and 2. I didn’t really want to call her either.
So I had no real desire to have a girlfriend when I met Captain Awesome. We met through our best friends: my best friend in the music department of our university was seeing HER best friend at the dental school for dental work. So the four of us happened to end up together at the dental school one day, where Captain Awesome’s best friend asked me if my best friend was my boyfriend.
“Please,” I said. “I date the ladies.”
“Because I have a gay friend right here! This is [Captain Awesome]!”
I got really pissed then. I mean I had never met this person. And first of all, I had just SAID I wasn’t gay (I prefer the term “pansexual playboy with a concentration in women”), and second of all, that was an ignorant-ass thing to say.
“So what,” I said, “You think we’re automatically gonna have everything in common just because we’re gay? Please!” I gave her a withering glare and pulled my friend into the nearest elevator, then smacked the button for the ground floor.
Then I realized that I might be ruining my chance with a hot chick, so I hurriedly said, “Hey!” to Captain Awesome as the elevator door closed. She had a shocked (and maybe amused) look on her face from what I’d said to her friend, but she recovered enough to raise her hand in greeting.
Three months passed, and we both thought about each other a little. I mean I wasn’t planning to get in touch with her — I had just thought she was hot. But once she finished studying for her written board exams, Captain Awesome asked her best friend to ask MY best friend for my number. And two years ago Sunday we went out on our first date. We enjoyed it immensely, and I ditched the other chick I had been putting the moves on and spent several evenings a week with Captain Awesome.
I knew she was leaving for the Army, so I didn’t even think about it becoming a long-term thing, but about five weeks in we realized it had accidentally become a long-term thing. We have a dreadful aversion to anything U-Haul, so we were pretty embarrassed about this, and didn’t mention it for a long time. But finally we talked haltingly about being exclusive (which doesn’t mean monogamous), and we’ve been shacking up since then (albeit in different states).
That’s all I wanted to say, I guess. Now we live happily ever after in two different states with the military’s draconian anti-gay laws still hanging over our heads.
But hopefully all of that will be different by the end of this year.