So Captain Awesome just got to her new base. She says it looks great, even though it’s in the middle of nowhere. Now she has to inprocess, which takes freaking forever. But within a week or two she’ll be examining teeth and gums to her little heart’s content.
On the way there she stopped at the house of some married friends of ours, one of whom is also an Army dentist. They all went to dental school together. His wife (who, let me just say, is gorgeous — I’m so mad she’s straight) just got a civilian job in an Army clinic. So, after a year apart, they’ve moved back in together and are ridiculously happy. I mean, they have each other’s pictures as their Facebook profile pics.
Captain Awesome says they have this adorable house with a fireplace, right next to the base. They have a patio and a barbecue grill. They have a little Jack Russell terrier. They took her in and gave her the spare bedroom, which was made up nicely.
They had dinner together, and Captain Awesome talked about me basically the whole time, because she was so glad she was finally with people she could open up to. (The less said about the queer-friendliness of her officer training, the better — but I will say that I definitely heard the word ‘fag’ when I went down there.)
They cooked dinner together and ate at a cozy little table. The couple told her how psyched they were to be living together, and then they told her that they were planning to have a baby.
Poll: Upon hearing all this, should I smile or should I THROW UP?
Don’t get me wrong. I love these people. If they were coming through my territory I’d make sure they had everything they needed just like they did for Captain Awesome. But all I can say is that it must be NICE to be able to live together in an adorable little house with a DOG and a BABY in the works. And it must be nice to be able to get a civilian job on the base where your partner lives. It sure must be nice to be able to get MARRIED.
Whatever, man. I don’t want any of those things anyway. I mean, a baby? You’re gonna be covered in poop and baby food for months.
Alright, maybe I want a house and a dog.
And maybe I want the opportunity to interview for civilian jobs on base. I don’t even know what kind of job I would look for, but it doesn’t matter ’cause I’m not gonna be looking for them.
I think I’m gonna go with smiling instead of throwing up, though. Because I really like this couple, and if Captain Awesome and I can’t have all that picket fence happiness, then at least it’s nice to know that they can. (Queer people, this is the part where you sigh longingly.)