When you’re in a relationship that’s technically illegal for one of you, some things are worse than others.
I mean, stuff happens every day that makes me mad, either for myself or for Captain Awesome. There are days when it’s not so bad. Then there are also days when I wanna go hit John McCain in his crap-lousy FACE.
Actually every day is like that.
Anyway, I’ve identified four levels of inconvenience. Behold:
The Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Inconvenience Scale
Level 1 : Mildly Annoying. These are the days when things aren’t that bad. Level One is when you want to go outside for a walk with your military lady, but have to pass because you wouldn’t be able to hold hands anyway. It’s what happens when you want to go meet your military man after work so you can see him all dolled up in his uniform, but you have to pass on that too. It’s annoying, but it’s not too hard to adjust your plans accordingly. You keep it moving.
Level 2: Very Inconvenient. Having to spend extra money on groceries because you’re too scared to go to the commissary is very inconvenient. So is having to hide the gay pride flag you’ve had outside your house since you came out at the age of fifteen. And so is having to de-gay the house before friends come over—or not having any friends over at all.
Level 3: Majorly Infuriating. Not being about to adopt children is majorly infuriating. So is spending money on a hotel when you could just stay on base with your partner. Watching the Senate vote to keep you and your partner from having RIGHTS is majorly infuriating. Having to live apart from your partner because he got stationed overseas and you can’t get a job there? Majorly infuriating.
Level 4: Raging Ball of Fire. By the time you get to this level, you’re probably ready to explode. This level is akin to the “red” on that stupid terror color code thing. Red is when an actual deadly attack is happening. Similarly, Level 4 is when you’re actually getting discharged. When you’re actually breaking up with your partner because she’s a different person since she got back from Iraq and there wasn’t any counseling available for either of you. When you’ve actually gone insane.
If you hit Level Four, you’re done.