First of all, I’m having a fangirl moment. My favorite gay military partner ever to battle Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (alright, the only other one I know of) gave me a shout-out. Gay Soldier’s Husband is a beast. He’s gone through more than I ever want to go through (but will probably go through at some point). Deployment, PTSD, everything. I don’t know how he does it. Also, he’s kind of famous. He’s been in a documentary even.
So he’s like, the coolest person who could have hollered at me. See you next week when we go to tell the Pentagon what’s UP, Husband!
Anyway. I chilled with my “in-laws” today. They’re not really my in-laws because Captain Awesome and I aren’t married. I don’t even know if we’re married in my mind. We’ve been dating over a year-and-a-half and are totally committed to a long-term thing, but I don’t know when that becomes a marriage. Especially when there’s no legal structure that defines your relationship for you.
But anyway, I’ll just call them “in-laws” in quotes so you see that they’re not really my in-laws, just sort of. That’s what quotes are for.
We went to– haha, you thought you got me there. Not telling!
We ate lunch at this fancy restaurant. I wouldn’t say the “in-laws” are ridiculously loaded, but they do have a higher standard of what makes a “nice meal” than I do. I mean, the restaurant had a dress code. And we had a cheese plate with apricot jam. (It made me feel really smart to talk with the waiter about the merits of Iberico versus Manchego. I didn’t tell them that I got this cheese experience at Trader Joe’s.)
Basically, the “in-laws” consist of Captain Awesome’s mother and sister (known as Mrs. Awesome and Sister Awesome, respectively. It’s a real last name). Without going too much into it (though I’m not violating privacy because you don’t know them), Captain Awesome’s father recently died. Since his death, her mother’s been making an effort to travel a lot and visit her daughters. So she was staying with Sister Awesome, who lives near me.
Mrs. Awesome and I weren’t exactly best friends when we first met, but once she saw that I was committed to her kid and would step up in times of crisis, her heart warmed to me. On their way to pick me up, she left me a voicemail that ended with, “I can’t wait to see you!” I was touched. A little surprised, but mostly touched.
So we had a nice lunch. We got gelato afterwards. I enjoy hanging out with them. Since Captain Awesome is my first major relationship, having “in-laws” is a new thing to me. Having “in-laws” who like me is even more interesting. It’s nice because, in a world that tries to tell you every day that you and your lady don’t exist, friendly “in-laws” seriously validates your existence.
I know a lot of others aren’t as lucky as I am with this. A lot of others will never, ever meet their partner’s family, or even introduce their partner to their own family. Believe me, I feel lucky every day. Captain Awesome’s mom only supports civil unions, but you would never know it from the way she treats me.