Ding, dong, DADT is dead!

(Somewhat) Out At Lunch

First of all, I’m having a fangirl moment. My favorite gay military partner ever to battle Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (alright, the only other one I know of) gave me a shout-out. Gay Soldier’s Husband is a beast. He’s gone through more than I ever want to go through (but will probably go through at some point). Deployment, PTSD, everything. I don’t know how he does it. Also, he’s kind of famous. He’s been in a documentary even.

So he’s like, the coolest person who could have hollered at me. See you next week when we go to tell the Pentagon what’s UP, Husband!

Anyway. I chilled with my “in-laws” today. They’re not really my in-laws because Captain Awesome and I aren’t married. I don’t even know if we’re married in my mind. We’ve been dating over a year-and-a-half and are totally committed to a long-term thing, but I don’t know when that becomes a marriage. Especially when there’s no legal structure that defines your relationship for you.

But anyway, I’ll just call them “in-laws” in quotes so you see that they’re not really my in-laws, just sort of. That’s what quotes are for.

We went to– haha, you thought you got me there. Not telling!

We ate lunch at this fancy restaurant. I wouldn’t say the “in-laws” are ridiculously loaded, but they do have a higher standard of what makes a “nice meal” than I do. I mean, the restaurant had a dress code. And we had a cheese plate with apricot jam. (It made me feel really smart to talk with the waiter about the merits of Iberico versus Manchego. I didn’t tell them that I got this cheese experience at Trader Joe’s.)

Basically, the “in-laws” consist of Captain Awesome’s mother and sister (known as Mrs. Awesome and Sister Awesome, respectively. It’s a real last name). Without going too much into it (though I’m not violating privacy because you don’t know them), Captain Awesome’s father recently died. Since his death, her mother’s been making an effort to travel a lot and visit her daughters. So she was staying with Sister Awesome, who lives near me.

Mrs. Awesome and I weren’t exactly best friends when we first met, but once she saw that I was committed to her kid and would step up in times of crisis, her heart warmed to me. On their way to pick me up, she left me a voicemail that ended with, “I can’t wait to see you!” I was touched. A little surprised, but mostly touched.

So we had a nice lunch. We got gelato afterwards. I enjoy hanging out with them. Since Captain Awesome is my first major relationship, having “in-laws” is a new thing to me. Having “in-laws” who like me is even more interesting. It’s nice because, in a world that tries to tell you every day that you and your lady don’t exist, friendly “in-laws” seriously validates your existence.

I know a lot of others aren’t as lucky as I am with this. A lot of others will never, ever meet their partner’s family, or even introduce their partner to their own family. Believe me, I feel lucky every day. Captain Awesome’s mom only supports civil unions, but you would never know it from the way she treats me.

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Comments on: "(Somewhat) Out At Lunch" (2)

  1. Hey, I saw your comment on my blog, I don’t know if you get an email telling you I replied, so here I am. Below is a copy of my reply, just in case.

    Thanks for writing and reading. I don’t know what makes me bad a$$, but thanks! I just try to get through each day. Some days just surviving is enough. I would be interested in writing about your situation on my advice blog if you have anything you’re struggling with between your relationship and the military. The army makes it hard enough on significant others as it is. http://realadvicecoach.blogspot.com

    And how did you come across my blog. I am trying to find more traffic. I can appreciate your struggle even if I will never truly be able to understand it. I certainly wish everyone had the same rights and privileges and that we could see past superficial labels. We are all people – period.

  2. Hey! I don’t get an email; I think Blogger doesn’t offer that. Unfortunately.

    As far as problems with my relationship and the military…the question is, where to START.

    I found your blog from a comment you left on Left Face. I’ve been trying to come out on those sites, so straight military partners will see that the homo ones exist, too. I don’t think a lot of gay partners go onto those support sites, and even fewer of them find anything RELEVANT on those support sites.

    Good luck in your blogging and writing!

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