Ding, dong, DADT is dead!

Archive for October, 2010

It gets better — in some ways.

Everybody’s making all these videos telling queer youth things are gonna get better. I think the project’s been helpful for the whole queer community, not just youth — this is the first time I can remember that so many of us have talked openly to each other about our struggles.
Even Obama got in on the action, though he neglected to say that things only get better if you’re not planning on joining the military.

Queer teens, I’m gonna keep it real with you. Your life is not gonna turn into some magical fairyland where you go snowboarding with Dan Savage’s gorgeous husband. Your haters aren’t gonna turn around one day and say they love homos alluva sudden. Your family may never stop ignoring that fact that you and your girlfriend bang each other and aren’t just friends. And you’re going to lose friends throughout your entire life.

But the longer you stick with things, the less you’ll give a shit. And some stuff is always gonna be hard to deal with. There’re gonna be some ex-friends where you look at their photo in your yearbook thirty years later and you’re like, Shit, I still can’t believe he betrayed me.

But you’re going to get to a point where more good things happen in a day than bad. You’re going to get a job. You’re gonna get laid. You’re going to meet someone you love so much, you don’t care how much crap you have to deal with to be with them. It’s true! Right up through sophomore year of college, I thought I was never even gonna kiss a girl. Everyone else around me was getting laid when they were like sixteen, and I was still playing with myself and wearing too-large sweatshirts. Now? I’m a complete pimp. I look good every day. And I have a lady I love more than I love puppies, or rainbows, or snow. Things aren’t easy for us, but we have each other.

It’s kind of true when they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Don’t let it kill you.


Photo Detour

Here is a picture of Captain Awesome (left). She’s walking towards me just after her graduation from medical officer training in July. That’s one of her classmates on the right.  Captain Awesome’s got a giant smile on her face, and she’s super happy– partly because she’s so stoked and relieved to have finished training, but also because I and her mother travelled to see her graduate — and also because she’ll be getting to shower regularly now that she’s back from the field.

She’s also smiling because we had just been apart for longer than ever before in our relationship (six weeks) and she still can’t quite believe that I’m really there. She’s excited about all the things we’re going to do in the few days we have to chill in that city. She’s excited that she’s finally realizing her dream of becoming a Real Live Dentist. I’m smiling back at her because she looks ridiculously sexy in her uniform, and because I’m so proud of her and happy to see her. I’m smiling extra big so she can see how hard I would hug her if such behavior were allowed for us.

It was a happy day.

DADT Repellent #4: Privacy Screens

If you’ve ever texted your queer military partner while they’re at work, and if they’ve ever texted back, then your partner needs a privacy screen for their phone.  Those things are the best. I would post a picture of one, but I don’t want to needlessly promote any of those smart-phone brands.

Basically the privacy screen is a little skin that sticks on top of your phone screen. You buy a square of it at your local phone store (well, it’s probably not that local), and then they or you can cut it down to a size that fits your phone.

The screen makes it so that you can only see the screen of your phone if you’re looking directly at it. Tip the thing ten degrees to the side and it goes completely black. Which is pretty handy when you want to check out your lady’s picture but there are a bunch of nosy straight people right next to you.

A privacy screen makes all the difference. I can’t tell you how many times Captain Awesome has been glad she got one. It keeps her from looking around suspiciously every time she sends a text message or looks at my picture. In fact, it even allows her to have my picture as her home screen (which I still don’t think she should do, but that hasn’t stopped her).

Well screw you, Harry Reid.

Harry Reid’s spokesperson basically says that Reid isn’t that committed to pushing people to vote for repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell — even though he supports repeal, and the Republicans say they’re going to block the bill.

I’m pretty sick of people saying they support repeal and then not actually giving a crap about it. I wish America as a whole would just quit all the politically correct doublespeak.  If you don’t care about repeal, just say you don’t care about it. I’m tired of playing these games.

Captain Awesome was disappointed to hear that the brief period of DADT suspension had ended yesterday. She normally just shrugs off the latest news (she doesn’t get a lot of it where she is, and I think looking it up on the internet bums her out). But yesterday she was audibly frustrated.

She feels rightfully indignant — she signed up to work for the U.S. government, to fight for U.S. interests overseas — and the people who accepted her promise to lay down her life if necessary can’t even STOMACH her.

That’s nice, U.S. military. Real nice.

Back in the closet, everybody.

Well, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is officially back on.

No surprises there.

Medical Issues

Some breasts for my dykes readers. Because I can.

Hi, military homos. How are you? I have a problem today – the kind of problem that becomes infuriating when you throw Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in there. Even though technically that particular law is suspended.

What a joke.

Anyway, long story short: Captain Awesome has a not-so-suspicious lump in her breast that the doctors still want to remove because they can’t get enough info from a needle biopsy.

FREAKY, right? Of course there’s no reason to worry because it shows every sign of being benign, but that hasn’t stopped me from laying awake all night worrying. Have I mentioned that Captain Awesome lives more than thousand miles away from me?

Plan A was to take off work and fly out to be with her. I have money saved up for unexpected things like that. I had already started thinking about how I was gonna make that happen when I realized the obvious – I can’t be with her even if I do fly out there. The most I could do would be wait around until she came out of the hospital and then make soup for her, or whatever you eat when they just sliced your breast open.

Captain Awesome is way more hard-core than me, but I can tell she’s pretty nervous about this. I’m so sad I can’t hug her THIS SECOND. It’s not a huge procedure, but this is one of those things that a partner is supposed to BE there for. I feel like I’m failing as a partner. I know that’s a silly thing to think, but that’s how I feel.

Line up to join the military, homos. Just don’t expect to stay in.

So technically, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell seems to be suspended. The Pentagon apparently told the recruiting commands to start accepting out homos. For now.

This is really exciting, but I hope this isn’t going to be the only time gays can be open.

I can tell you right now– I haven’t talked to Captain Awesome yet, but she is not going to come out.

It’s kind of depressing for repeal to be so close, so visible, yet not within our grasp. But things look good. The appeals process is sure to take a while, and by then we’ll be into Congress’ lame duck session and it may be overturned there.

I look forward to talking with Captain Awesome about it. Not because it’s my favorite subject, but because I just like talking to her.  She’s really great to talk to. Every day — I can’t think of a day we’ve missed recently — one of us calls the other up and we talk and laugh and tell each other how cute and wonderful we are.  We talk about problems, victories, fears, issues, friends, and work. We talk about everything! Captain Awesome and I are best buds.

Anyway, my favorite comment on the Yahoo article is:

“Great another turn against God. Any thing for a vote , right Democrates?”

I don’t know what a “Democrate” is but I’m sure God will smite them.