Ding, dong, DADT is dead!

Archive for December, 2010

Last time I checked, I was a giant homo.

The worst thing about DADT repeal votes failing (or never getting voted on in the first place) is telling Captain Awesome about them. She doesn’t burst into tears or anything. But she’s still bummed out.

I get bummed out too. But no joke: I’m gonna be WAY more bummed out when Captain Awesome and I are living together in a few short months.

It’s a joke. Not only do we both look like we’re about to burst into flames at any moment, but we’re only going to be two of like, TWO people of color in the entire town she lives in. Also, I go EVERYWHERE on a bike (as in, I do not own a driver’s license), so everyone in the town is gonna know me by sight in like, two days.

How are they not gonna put six and nine together?

I was really hoping Don’t Ask Don’t Tell would get conveniently voted out before I went to live with Captain Awesome. That would have been perfect timing. We would have been able to tell younger generations of queers what it was like living under the U.S.’s draconian anti-gay laws, but wouldn’t actually have to live our daily lives in fear for that long.

Now, it looks like we’re gonna be living our daily lives in fear and not-making-out-in-public for a LONG-ASS TIME. I swear, it’s so hard not to make out with Captain Awesome in public. She’s ridiculously HOT. It’s like, a reflex for me to kiss her dimple whenever it comes out.

So basically what the United States is saying to me is that my girlfriend can’t even SMILE in public.

Free country FAIL.


Photo Detour: Military Ball

The photo above is of yours truly in female drag. Enjoy it; you won’t see it very often. I’m in drag because I’m going to military ball this weekend — not, unfortunately, with Captain Awesome, but with an Army guy I know here. He and two of his buddies are going with me, one of my housemate/friends, and my housemate’s best friend.

The ball is this Saturday. Immediately after the plans were finalized, my housemate started trying to get me to freak out about a dress. She’s an andro lady who has performed in female drag, but has no experience with the formal attire. “What are we gonna wear?” she kept saying to no one in particular. “What are you even supposed to wear to this thing?”

I had no idea, but I knew I was NOT going to go out and spend 200$ on something I would only wear once. So the next day I went online and found a dress on Etsy. The woman who made it (or rather, remade it) had put it on clearance — for ten dollars.

Oh snap. In just a few days, it was at my house. In just a few seconds, it was on me. “That’s like you, embodied in a dress,” said one approving housemate. Which is true. Blue and purple are my favorite colors. And iridescence? Even better. I wish the dress had sleeves, but I have to keep reminding myself that it’s drag.

Captain Awesome is somewhat bummed because she can’t do what a near-stranger is doing: invite me to the ball.


Day Two Of Major Life Decision.

Still can’t believe I gave notice at my job. I would be worried, but I’m a BAMF like that.

Realized I gotta tell my mother. She was definitely hoping I would stay on at this job. And I can’t blame her — it pays more than any fresh college grad deserves to be making, and I was getting my byline on a major news organization’s website pretty regularly.  I was getting PAID to BLOG.

I think it’s so unfair how you have to give up everything if you wanna chill with your partner. And even more unfair to queers, who don’t even get the compensation. For the record, the stuff military spouses get is not BENEFITS. It’s COMPENSATION.

And for the record, I’m not giving up everything because I want to chill with Captain Awesome. I’m giving up everything because I thought it would be fun and interesting. I do that sometimes.

I’m a train-hopping, wanderingass motherfucker. Next stop: the middle of nowhere.

Except I’ll still be in the city for a few more months, until they get someone new at my job. Which is good, because I’ll have time to get my affairs in order. I’m thinking of taking a month off after my time ends.

The only thing I’ll be sad to leave in the city are my housemates. There are five of them, and they’re all insane feminists. I have a special attachment with all of them, and we often hang out outside of roommate stuff. We’re all really different, but for the most part we get along great. There’s always something happening at my house.

I just hope I can get a similar cadre in the middle of nowhere. Captain Awesome is fun, but she often spends evening watching movies — whereas I like to embark on random art projects like painting the ceiling. Or I like reading out loud. Or talking about political shit.

We’ll see. I just love the idea of jumping off into the unknown.

It’s the brat in me.

I Just Made A Major Life Decision.

Sometimes when you have a blog, anonymous people across the country get to hear your most intimate secrets before those you are closest to.

Here’s a secret for you – one I haven’t told Captain Awesome, my parents or siblings, or best friends. In fact, nobody in the entire world knows about this yet except my boss.

I just quit my job.

That’s actually kind of harsh. Actually, I elected not to APPLY for my job. I’d been doing it in a temp position, and they recently opened up a permanent position and strongly encouraged me to apply.

So, I just told them I’m not applying.  I’m going to move to – dammit, I almost just Told. See what a pain Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is? I’m trying to bare my soul here.

I’m moving to where Captain Awesome lives. We’re going to live together in bliss and harmony. It’s the gay equivalent of getting married. Like, we’ll announce it to my parents this Christmas. (Symbolically. I’ll tell them before then.)

I haven’t told her yet.

I don’t think this was the smartest move I’ve ever made.

Military Ball

It’s that time of year. And I don’t mean the time of year when tinny, annoying songs are blasted into your ears — I mean military ball.

I think military ball is one of the greatest issues facing armed services queerkind.

First of all, queers love a ball. Anything that we can get all dressed up for, we’re all about. We love anything with strict etiquette and conventions — because it’s in those contexts that we can be at our most fabulous. Like this:

In short, gays love a costume. I think Alice summed it up best:

I really miss shopping for and wearing ball gowns so DADT needs to go now.

Balls and proms have long been a battleground for equality. Constance McMillen is the most recently lauded combatant in this ongoing struggle, but talk to any roomful of homos and you’ll hear stories about proms and military balls. For many, proms and balls have been seminal moments in the coming out process. It was the first time they wore a tux or a ball gown, and they were petrified of what everyone was gonna say but elated to be that out.

When I was straight (because I once was), I didn’t care about formal occasions. They epitomized a system of gender binary that I wanted nothing to do with. I only donned a formal dress twice in my life, both times at the request of a woman I cared about.

Alright, maybe I wasn’t that straight.

But now, military ball is one of those things that I look forward to crashing – along with officers’ wives clubs. But that’s a whole different post.

I am going to military ball this year with a male friend. We’re both going to oblige our friends, who are going together (on a sort-of-not-really date).

It should be fun. But every time I think of wearing a dress and having a man come pick me up and hold me daintily by the hand, I get a little nauseous.

That’s totally not how Captain Awesome and I are gonna roll when it’s our turn.