In case the lack of posts didn’t clue you in, I’ve been ridiculously stressed out lately. I’m moving to Militaryville in two weeks, and it’s ridiculous. I’m trying to make sure all my affairs are in order at my job, which is hard because I stopped giving a shit about three months ago.
I have to pack my things. I have to finish everything at work, including coming up with a piece out of my ass before tomorrow. I have to arrange to ship my piano.
Captain Awesome and I are feeling the strain of being apart and are snapping at each other all the time, forgetting how nice it really is to be together. I’m not unduly worried about this because every relationship has times of strain, but it’s still stressful. It’s stressful for me and Captain Awesome to be on unstable ground because we usually fall back on each other for support in times like this. Not only does she have her own tension involving me moving and other stuff that has nothing to do with me, but our relationship has become PART of the tension. And of course we picked this time to talk about having kids, which we have different feelings about (mine: no. Hers: It could make life meaningful), so that’s stressful too.
My first instinct is to go and talk to her in person because 96% of our arguments wouldn’t happened if we were near each other, but of course I can’t do that for two more weeks.
Everyone around me has been wanting to hang out because they know I’m leaving soon, but I’ve been blowing them off totally because I’ve been in a pissy mood for two weeks straight.
But mainly, I’m excited! I like the stress that goes with moving. I think if I ever stay in one place for too long I’ll die from straight-up boredom. And Middle America….wow, I’ve never really been there. I mean I’ve been through Montana and Dakota on the train, but I’ve never spent significant time in this interesting geographical and political landscape.
Most of my stress comes down to one thing: I want to GO already!